Flame on!

Isn’t Blu-ray technology wonderful? You’re able to watch movies in glorious high-definition with a 1080p image! You’ve got real-time menus! Picture-in-picture bonus bits! Footage of a fireplace being played on a continuous loop!

Wait, what?

Too old for old-school?

Can you really go back? To retro games, I mean. After playing your way through the digital timeline and going from sprites to polygons, from cartridges to digital downloads, can you really go back to old-school classics and enjoy them in the same way now as you once did?

Let me set the scene for you. I’m a gamer from way back, and I spent a good chunk of my youthful days in front of my Sega Mega Drive. Although money was an issue when it came to financing my games collection, time wasn’t, and I was happy to spend as much of it as I deemed necessary in order to beat high scores, final bosses and lap times. Being stumped by a game wasn’t an option, and if I couldn’t do it under my own steam, I looked up strategies and tips, and integrated them into my own tactics. I played the heck out of every single game I owned, and made sure I saw the end of every single one. Once that was done, I’d play them again.

Obsessive? Perhaps. But if you asked me then, “passionate” would probably be the word I’d use.

Lawsuits from the Edge

Meet Tim Langdell. This is him here:

In 1979, Langdell founded a games company called “Softek: Masters of the Game”, but later decided to rename it to “Edge”. A look at Edge’s publishing history, as seen on its website, lists 756 games (a “partial list”) under its belt, which is an impressive number until you realise that Langdell counts a game’s multiple platform and language releases as separate games.

But Langdell’s real claim to fame is his use of the word “edge”. Mirriam-Webster defines it as thus:

1 a : the cutting side of a blade <a razor’s edge> b : the sharpness of a blade <a knife with no edge> c (1) : force, effectiveness <blunted the edge of the legislation> (2) : vigor or energy especially of body <maintains his hard edge> d (1) : incisive or penetrating quality <writing with a satirical edge> (2) : a noticeably harsh or sharp quality <her voice had an edge to it> (3) : a secondary but distinct quality <rock music with a bluesy edge> e : keenness or intensity of desire or enjoyment <lost my competitive edge>
2 a : the line where an object or area begins or ends : border <on the edge of a plain> b : the narrow part adjacent to a border <the edge of the deck> c (1) : a point near the beginning or the end; especially : brink, verge <on the edge of disaster> (2) : the threshold of danger or ruin <living on the edge> d : a favorable margin : advantage <has an edge on the competition>
3 : a line or line segment that is the intersection of two plane faces (as of a pyramid) or of two planes

But Langdell’s definition is more along the lines of:

1 a : Lawsuit
2 a : Mine, not yours
3 : Hands off

Hollywood vs Technology

Give someone a computer, and they might ask you how to install iTunes so they can download the latest Black Eyed Peas song. But give a TV or movie character a computer, and they’ll furiously hammer away on the keyboard as they explain how they’re hacking the internet by transfiltering the ADSL while digitising the encrypted polygons from the system administration console.

Let’s be honest: Hollywood has no idea when it comes to technology, either because the writers don’t know how it works, or because they think the audience doesn’t (or is too stupid to) care. I’m not sure, but whatever the reason, this clip from CSI: NY has some serious ‘splainin’ to do.

Seen another example of a Hollywood techno-facepalm? Let me know and I’ll set aside some megateraflops to shame it in a follow-up post!